...chupacabra, hungry, and eye ballin yer cows. I am way too awesome and aweinspiring to ever accurately express it on some free dating site. I am also very modest. My house is pretty clean I have yet to be featured on some sad AE show although it is filled with barking dogs and that aggravates some people. Mainly it aggravates my ex, so that's why I got them. I have a couple of kids. I also have an almost ex husband/baby daddy. I enjoy the term baby daddy because it really captures how classy I am. I have one dog that listens and two that dont and as I type I am sure they are digging trenches in the back yard. I suspect they may be Viet Cong. The other dog is pretty unhappy with the way things turned out as I promised her it would just the two of us forever and then I went on to drag home one dog after another. She hasn't made eye contact with me in two years. It seems no amount of cheese can bridge this divide. Insert sad emoticon. I have kind of a whacked sense of humor. I dislike people that spell poorly or talk too much. I love cheesy horror movies. I suspect I may have an ingrown toe nail. I take lots of pictures. I don't know how the hell I ended up in this damn town but I think maybe impaired judgment could be to blame. Either way Ill probably hightail it out of here as soon as Im off parole. Actually I am not on parole. Just in case you take these things a lil' too seriously. Insert winky emoticon. The first thing people usually notice about me is the orange jumpsuit Im wearing as I scale the chain link fence. So...If you know what's good for you, youll send me an email along with a picture and your bank account info.kidding, kidding! Just a picture will suffice....for now.
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